How to practice gratitude for increased happiness

Why am I not happy right now?

There are a number of factors that contribute to our overall level of health, happiness and mental wellbeing on any given day.  Our actual circumstances - lifestyle, work, relationships, possessions - tend to receive a disproportionate amount of our attention and effort in this regard.  We can spend a lot of time focussing on these circumstances, working to fix or alter them, in the hope and belief that we will be happier at some designated time in the future when some goal is achieved.  

What we often forget, or don’t truly understand to begin with, is that our actual circumstances are just one factor relevant to our overall level of happiness.  Perhaps even more important (and certainly more truly within our control and ability to immediately change) is our intentional activity: our thoughts, our attitudes and our behaviours.  Put simply, if we can learn to think predominantly happy thoughts we will be predominantly happy. And that happiness will be available here and now, not at some deferred time, after some specific act has occurred. 

How do I become happier?

The fields of yoga, mindfulness and psychology (as well as wellness, fitness coaching and meditation) converge in agreement on these three key points: (1) our level of happiness is directly and exponentially related to our intentional activity (thoughts, attitudes, behaviours); (2) we have the power to control, moderate and change this intentional activity; and (3) one of the simplest and most effective ways of doing this is through gratitude.

One of the key yogic qualities (niyamas) is santosha, which is loosely translated as “contentment” and is another way of describing gratitude - the feeling of happiness with and appreciation for what is, without linking that to some future occurrence or desired change.  Yogis have understood for thousands of years that if we can be content with and grateful for the way things are, happiness (and all that it offers) is available immediately, but if our happiness is conditional upon future events, we will forever be in search of that happiness.  Far beyond anecdote and supposition, numerous research studies have confirmed that increased gratitude leads to increased happiness, life satisfaction and general mental wellbeing.  In its summary of the effect of gratitude practices, Harvard Medical School stated: “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships”.

How do I practice gratitude?

While the concept that gratitude leads to happiness (and much more) is well established and understood, what is less clear is how to practice gratitude in a way that will ensure that those desired goals (being more happy, more healthy, living your best life and more) are realised tangibly, effectively and repeatedly.  From practising for many years, and collating the research of many scientific studies we have identified the key elements of a gratitude practice:

1. Be grateful.  This might sound simple and obvious but is an important first step.  You may be in a bad mood and not be feeling particularly grateful, but you can always find something to be grateful for, no matter how seemingly trivial - the smell of coffee, the feeling of sun on your face, a song you like.  
2. Stay grateful.  Instead of simply moving onto the next thing, it’s important to stay in that feeling of gratitude for an unnaturally long period of time.  In this way, we become accustomed to being in the state of gratitude.
3. Acknowledge your gratitude.  Take the time to consciously reflect on and identify the things you are grateful for, by listing them and creating  record of them (either physically or mentally).
4. Make it a practice.  Do the above again and again, ideally on a daily basis, training yourself every day until it becomes familiar and natural, spending more and more of your life in the state of gratitude.  In this way, we cultivate the state of gratitude so that it becomes more than a fleeting state that you experience in your practice and transforms into a trait - a disposition characteristic of yours, a feature of who you are.

The above can be achieved simply and easily by anyone, anywhere.  You don't need much time, you don't need a coach or a guide or help from anyone else, and you don't need to go away on a yoga retreat - you can do it from you home.  Set aside 5 - 10 minutes and follow the below 5 Step program daily:

1. Find a comfortable seat, close your eyes and take a moment to assess your state of mind - the thoughts and feelings that are present - without trying to change anything.
2. Come in contact with your breath (in and out through the nose) and observe a few full breath cycles, making the breath fuller and deeper.
3. Bring to mind things for which you feel grateful in that moment.  If nothing comes up immediately, cast your mind back over the past 24 hours.  Think of small things to begin with - foods, drinks, sensations - and over time these can become more significant.  Think of as many as possible.  Make it one of your goals to think of at least 3 things or people.  With time, imagination and creativity, this may increase from 3 things to 100 things.
4. Once you’ve identified a few things, and stopped thinking of new things.  Take about an extra 30 seconds or so, just sitting there with that feeling.  You will want to move onto the next, new thing, but resist the urge and just sit there.
5. Open your eyes and write down the things you feel grateful for in a book or journal.

And then repeat again day after day, ideally at the same time so that it becomes part of your daily ritual.  For example, make it a habit to do this practice and write down three things for which you are grateful daily, in the morning or before going to bed.  And watch how the practice becomes more natural almost immediately.  And watch how your general levels of happiness also increase almost immediately.  You will likely notice a change within the first 7 days and then, after 21 days, you will have established this practice as part of your life.