How to use your breath to calm yourself

“It's funny, but you never really think much about breathing. Until it's all you ever think about.” 

Tim Winton

Find your breath

Ancient yogic texts describe yoga as having eight limbs, only one of which is the physical asana practice that has come to mean “yoga” in modern times.  According to these texts, each of these limbs is an equally important step on the path to samadhi or enlightenment.

One of these limbs is pranayama which means control or expansion of our life force (or our breath).  Most of us go through life paying little attention to our breath and only encounter pranayama in a cursory way as part of a physical yoga class or an online yoga retreat - either learning to synchronise our breath with our movement, or when invited to undertake a short breathing practice to begin or end a class.  However, pranayama is a practice in its own right, entirely separate from a physical yoga practice and, when done correctly, incredibly powerful and potentially beneficial: often more so than a physical yoga practice.

There are a wide variety of pranayama practices or programs, which we can learn in order to achieve a wide variety of goals: to activate and heat our body before physical practice; to calm us and still our mind before meditation; to activate our parasympathetic nervous system when we are nervous, anxious or stressed; to restore and rejuvenate us when we are tired or worn out.

Find peace

One of the hardest things to do, if you don’t have the tools, is to calm yourself and your mind down when stimuli arise to stress you out.  In these circumstances, we often reach for ineffective tools such as telling ourselves to calm down (which often has the opposite effect) or planning a way to overcome the issue (trapping us in a thought loop with no escape).  

Fortunately, this is where pranayama comes in, and stilling and calming a stressed mind is one of the most powerful and yet easily accessible benefits of pranayama.  It only takes a couple of minutes and knowledge of the right practice and you will be able to calm your mind and begin to find peace immediately.  It’s neither difficult nor complex, but it’s not necessarily obvious either: you need to know how to do it and you won’t necessarily find the tools in a standard online yoga class or “in person” all level yoga class.  You don’t need a coach or a guide, or help from anyone else, and you can do it at work or at home.  This is how:

1. Close the eyes and seal the lips, breathing in and out through the nose.  Ideally you’re in a quiet room without other people, sitting on a meditation cushion, but you can do this in the bathroom at work or sitting at your desk or on the train. 
2. Notice how you’re feeling.  It might be uncomfortable and you might mentally try to escape from the feeling but try to just stay with it for a moment.  
3. Notice the thoughts that are present - often we will be consumed by one dominant thought, or maybe there are many thoughts racing through the mind.  Again, just be present and aware.  Don’t tell yourself to stop thinking.  It won’t work.  A wandering mind is healthy and normal.
4. Notice the breath. Is it short and choppy or long and deep?  Do you feel it in the chest only or all the way down in the belly?  Continue to watch each new breath for 4 or 5 breaths.
5. Consciously begin to deepen and extend the breath.  As you inhale, let the belly relax and fill up the belly first and then fill up the chest. As you exhale, empty the chest first and then the belly.  Don’t force anything, just a soft controlled breath, slightly longer than your natural breath.  Be curious about the breath.  Notice if there is a cool sensation as you inhale and a warm sensation as you exhale.  When the mind wanders, as it will again and again, notice that that has happened and come back to the breath.  Do this for 4 or 5 breaths.  
6. Begin to count the length of the breath and ensure that the inhales and exhales are of equal length.  Don’t force it; it doesn’t need to be a long count.  In your head say “Inhale, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four”.  Find a count that feels comfortable and relaxed and stick with it.  Notice how the edges of the breath start to smooth out.  When the mind wanders, come back to the breath count.  Relax the shoulders, forehead and belly.  Count the breath like this for 20 or so breaths, or as long as feels right.
7. Release the count and return to your normal breathing.  Check in with yourself again: notice how you feel; notice the thoughts are present.  Continue to sit, stand or lie in passive awareness for a moment.  Then open the eyes, silently express gratitude for the practice (if that feels right to you) and then go on about your day.

This practice is called sama vritti which means “equal fluctuations” - in smoothing out the fluctuations in our breath, we smooth out the disturbing fluctuations in our mind.  It is both remarkably simple and effective.  You can practice it anytime, anywhere and you can practice a form of it (coaching and training the breath to extend) immediately as stressful situations arise, even while you are still in those situations.  The practice can be advanced in many different ways (including as part of a broader meditation practice) and that is best done under expert guidance, but this basic practice alone will make an immediate and significant difference to your health and wellness, your lifestyle and your ability to deal with and respond to stressful situations in your daily life.  After 7 days of practising in this way you will experience a marked difference in your ability to respond to stressful situations.  After 21 days you may notice that stress is no longer such a significant part of your life.